Tag: emotions

Trying To Overcome Trauma? You Might Be Going About It The Wrong Way

Overcoming Trauma: There is increasing evidence that the most efficient and effective ways to treat trauma in our lives is by including how our bodies have held onto these life experiences and keep a person locked in a fight flight or freeze state. As Peter Levine states: “(When) we have a person who is locked in the fight-or-flight response, a person who is functioning primarily in the brainstem, and the language of the brainstem is the language of sensations. So if you are trying to help the person work with the core of the trauma response, you have to talk to that level of the nervous system,” (Levine, 2013). The primitive part of the brain does not have verbal language, it does not use words but instead holds these traumatic messages in our nervous system.

One of the foremost experts in the field, Bessel Van der Kolk describes trauma as a breakdown of the attuned physical synchrony, and is quoted in the New York Times, “Trauma has nothing whatsoever to do with cognition. It has to do with your body being reset to interpret the world as a dangerous place,” (Interlandi, 2014).

Read more at: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/leveraging-adversity/2017/03/trying-to-overcome-trauma-you-might-be-going-about-it-the-wrong-way/

Here are some fast ways to attract others to you

Here is a list of 8 ways to better connect with others. Some of these are to put yourself in other people’s shoes; have empathy, listen to advice and learn from others, speak in the positive, look at both sides of the coin, and be understanding through active listening. In other words it’s not all about you. Value other people’s thoughts, feelings and opinions and share yours in a way that shows you are interested in how you might help the other person.

Read more at:

https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/8-top-qualities-of-people-who-easily-influence-others.html?cid=email

8 Tools to get control of your anxiety

Here are some great suggestions to better manage those anxious times in life.

You do not need to know the root cause of your anxiety while you are in the height of experiencing it.   Trying to ” figure it out”  actually increases your anxious feelings. Instead try to decrease your symptoms and try to figure it out later when you are calmer. These tips let your nervous system calm down and let you get in control of your life. For example: get into your body in this moment. Feel your feet on the floor. Shift the weight on your feet and notice the difference the sensation in each part of your foot;sole, top of foot, toes, heel…Then move your attention up to your ankles, your shins, your calves and continue to the top of your head. notice from the inside of your body.

Read more:  https://mindbodywise.com/blog/8-tools-to-get-control-of-your-anxiety/

 

The Power of Handwriting by Robert Lee Hotz

I am big believer in writing in a journal. When you actually hand write out your thoughts and feelings your brain is better able to process what you are writing.

This article supports the power of hand writing. Students who take notes gy hand outperform students who type. http://www.wsj.com/articles/can-handwriting-make-you-smarter-1459784659

So grab a journal and do some writing about what is on your mind!

Beat Back the Self Doubt by Elizabeth Bernstein

Surprisingly simple steps to rewrite your negative thoughts in positive ones. Challenge your negative thought, practice new thoughts over and over, imagine you have a friend with the same negative thoughts and practice telling the its not true, exaggerate your negative thought to the point it is absurd ex: you’re the worst loser on the planet.

Read more at http://www.wsj.com/articles/steps-to-turn-off-the-nagging-self-doubt-in-your-head-1465838679

Don’t Apologize So Fast : Best way to make up after an argument

Here are 5 clear steps to use to make up after an argument

1. Wait to talk until you both are not longer upset

2. Give up the idea you need to be right. Instead focus on how you feel

3. Verbalize your understanding of how the other person feels

4. Quash any impulse to defend you position

5. Accept that it will take a little time to feel better.. Set a time to check in with each to see how things are between you.

Read the full article at this link: by Elizabeth Bernstein WSJ

Relationship Talking Points: What Your Spouse is Saying

Men and women both feel emotions but process  them at different speeds. Women are able to state their emotions faster.

Some tips for both men and women

-create a buffer a zone. Take a few minutes to prepare yourself before an emotional converation.

-Ask if its a good time to talk before starting

-Pause at times during the conversation to give the other person time to process

-Validate what you re hearing the other person say

Read more at http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304858104579262231486059794

Empty Nest: Why Arent We Having Fun Yet?

Empty Nest: Why couples find themselves wondering why arent we having fun yet? After all these years together, life was so busy and the focus was on the family and home and not on your relationship. Read more about how this unfolds and what to do to prevent it.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324436104578579372436143196.html

I see a bad mood rising-How to difuse a temper tantrum for all ages

We can have a temper tantrum at any age. This article talks about why its happening and how to address it in the moment and later with children, teens and adults.

Read more at : http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/24/living/rs-bad-mood-rising

Breathe, Relax, Repeat: Devices for Inner Peace

Breathe, Relax, Repeat: Devices for Inner Peace

Read about devices to use on your phone to help you teach yourself to relax.

Read more: http://allthingsd.com/20130514/breathe-relax-repeat-devices-for-inner-peace/

article about the New DSM- The Long Battle to Rethink Mental Illness in Children

………Scientists have been busy rewriting the bible of American mental illness.

It is the first revision of the nearly 1,000page tome in 15 years and on of the top priorities of the insular conclave is to rethink some children’s disorders……….

read the full article  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390444273704577633412579112188.html

American jobs are grueling, according to a newly published RAND survey.

For the first time in 2015, the nonprofit think tank asked its nationally representative survey panel about their attitudes …

Here are some fast ways to attract others to you

Here is a list of 8 ways to better connect with others. Some of these are to put yourself in other people’s shoes; …